VOICI SOME REFLECTIONS ON OUR EXPERIENCE LIVED IN THE NEO-CATÉCHUMÉNAT OF THE FALL 1977 IN THE SPRING 1981

IN THE FIRST COMMUNITY OF CO-ODILE OF QUEBEC.

	J'ai walked during three years and half in the first neo-catéchuménale community of Co-Odile of Quebec. When I followed the catéchèses with my husband before beginning this progress, I have been shocked several times by the teaching of the catéchètes. I found that this teaching didn't respect people. First one could value us monitoring during 2 hours or 2h30 without stop; one denied the value of the liberal arts in the man's salute. One put everybody on the same foot as if all had not made even any progress in the faith before this day. One seemed to say that everything that had not been made until there had no value. We were all that of the sinners who could not make anything of valid. We knew how to sin only.

	À several resumptions, my husband and I, left before the end of the interviews during the two months that lasted the catéchèses. However, we always returned. There was always something positive that brought back us. We were, at the time in search of something that could give a bigger sense to our life and we hoped to find in this path for which we looked.

	Il are necessary to say also that the testimony of the catéchètes spoke us a lot. We knew that they were the people who had left everything to dedicate their life to the announcement of God's Speech and they made it with a lot of conviction. They made be born in us a big hope while making take out again God's Words that is strongly likely to create this hope. The testimony of their life helped us to believe in these words.

	Nous made the convivence at the end of the catéchèses and we have been elected in the team of the persons responsible by the members of the newborn community. We took our role seriously. We had like mission to see to what the path is fully respected as the catéchètes had announced it to us. We were very attentive and we have time and again, forbidden the path in the community. We intervened several times by the vicar that, didn't seem us at the time to take so seriously of course this path according to our perceptions.

	Après one year and half of progress, we have been elected catéchètes by the members of our community. I was not happy to this election because I knew what it meant like requirements. I am teaching to the level of the first year of the primary. I like this work, I give myself there a lot but, physically, I find it exhausting. I knew that I could not assume the two. Then, I accepted nevertheless because I could not make otherwise after the monitions made before this election. One had told us at the time of the monitions that preceded the election that the brothers chosen by the community had to consider this choice as being the expression certain of God's will on them. One didn't let us of reflection time; we had to accept or had to refuse on the fields. But, how to refuse God's will?... No one dares to make it.... It is besides in this same climate that to the all beginning we had accepted to become co-responsible of the community. We could also note that all steps that we had to make thereafter have been conditioned of the same way with more and more by force.

	L'hiver according to, either two years after the birth of the community, we catechized in the parish Co-Odile. It means numerous meetings. It was necessary to prepare, to give the catéchèses and at the same time to continue to follow the progress of the community. We were mobilized six evenings per week during at least two months. At the end of three weeks, I was exhausted. I made an internal hemorrhage to the stomach; I met at the hospital to the intensive care during one night and I should have taken a complete rest during two months.

	On told to me that I was responsible for all it; I didn't have a faith sufficiently to trust God fully; that I wanted all to make by myself; that I was slave of my work; that I didn't have a love at all in me; that that didn't serve to anything to want so much to worry for my work since I could not give anything to that that it is; that I was only selfishness and that, therefore he/it had there in me no love for the children whom I am confided to the school nor for my husband, nor for no one.

	Je had just left the hospital when one served me this menu. I didn't have by force to react, I knew how to cry only.... I believed a little what one told to me and, the fall according to me tempted, as honestly as possible, another experience of catéchèse in the parish. This time was less laborious and the prudence made me slow down before being returned to tip. I have nevertheless took conscience very clearly that I was incapable to assume the work of the day and the catéchèses of in the evening. As I felt a lot more attracted by work by the children, he/it clearly appeared me that this last had to keep my choice. Me me culpabilisais facing my pupils that I was obliged to disregard; I had a lot less patience with them. I found that it was not just that they have to suffer because I was going to catechize in the evening. Me me culpabilisais also to let the catéchèses because I felt the attitude of the catéchètes a lot of culpabilisante. Another session of catéchèse was planned for the winter. I was solved to refuse to be going to catechize after the feasts.	

	Mon husband, having become the person responsible of the community since already one year, we were invited since this time to follow the convivences that addressed to the roving catéchètes. This convivence always took place during three or four days at the time of the holiday of the feasts. In December 80, I didn't have the the whole taste to participate in this convivence. I felt supersaturated and I had need more rest than of convivence. I had become less tolerant to the attitude of the catéchètes that I found more and more absolute and culpabilisante. My husband seemed to be anxious to participate in the convivence; I went therefore to come with it. Since the first catéchèse, I felt that the catéchètes pursued a precise goal during this convivence: I had the impression that they wanted to make so that all these people are happy to be going to catechize while leaving from there. I lived it like a conditioning. I had the impression that one used God's Speech to condition people better.

	À to leave from that moment, it became too strong for me. I told the catéchètes that I didn't feel respected, that I felt manipulated; that I felt their attitude as a lot of culpabilisante. They defended themselves vigorously and tried to make understand me that it was I that was neurotic and that I was fighting against God. After this conditioning of four days one asked people if they wanted to be going to catechize. My husband and I were the only ones to say that we would not go.

	Quelques days after, there was a meeting of all catéchètes of Quebec to train the teams who had to catechize. The meeting started with a monition that said this more or less: One also said: Then one presented the Words that accentuated these interventions again more. How can one believe in the respect of the liberties in such a climate?...

	J'étais become now certain that I could not continue anymore in this sense. We had several meetings with the catéchètes to this moment. They told us that God's will for us clearly expressed only itself by their mouth. We only had to follow what they told us to be sure to accomplish God's will. Me, my conscience told me something else. I found that they went a lot too far and I told to them. But they always maintained their position. The authority of the catéchètes is primordial in this path. One told to me that I had understood it too early. One also told to me that if I was going to consult the authorities of the church, these would give me reason but that I would not be more advanced because they cannot consist of this path not knowing it sufficiently. The catéchètes has been annoyed when we told to them that we had been consult a Jesuit and an Eminence of our diocese. We became their persecutors.

	Ça become difficult to see clear in all it. The catéchètes is the only ones to detain the truth. The bishops in the church were too conciliatory to their opinion and they accept some alleviations by weakness. A member of a community cannot discern God's will for his/her/its life, his/her/its bishop either is not able to it. Only his/her/its catéchètes can make it. The individual conscience doesn't have any value.

	Lorsque we became aware of the danger of such affirmations, we preferred to withdraw us. Today, if we make the balance, we note that we received a lot through this progress. We learned to welcome God's Speech and to share it with others. We discovered in God's Speech a very big wealth for our life. However we could not continue anymore to walk in the neo-catéchuménat because we don't accept that the authority of the catéchètes can go so far. We prefer to follow the authority and the teaching of the official Eg1ise.

	Les catéchètes that taught us this path made it in the sincerity and especially in a very big fidelity to their own catéchètes. They cannot change anything of themselves at this path. They delivered us in a complete way the mind of the path. We must accept on our turn him as is or to reject it. As we could not accept it as presented, we chose to take some.

	Voilà more or less the essential of that that I lived during three years and half. I wrote it solely in the goal to bring my small part so that light makes itself around this path. I ask the mind-Saint to give his/her/its lights to those that are called to discern the truth in all it. I also pray so that the hope been born in the heart of people through this teaching can continue to grow.

										Rita Laberge Lamberts.

	Mon experience in the neo-catéchuménat

	Lorsque we attended the catéchèses, four years ago, we have been hit and have often been shocked by the attitude of the catéchètes: very long catéchèses, without period of rest, cold and authoritative attitude of the catéchètes. Often, their affirmations shocked our conceptions and we sometimes left before 1a end from the catéchèse, Rita and me, when we perceived that the catéchète repeated what it had just said and to retell.

	Avant to adopt this attitude, we had asked the catéchètes if they could make one pause in the middle of the catéchèse because we were very tired to listen to them on bad chairs of sheet metal during sometimes more than two hours. On that, they told us coldly, what has us nevertheless frustrated a few, the brother wants to rise, that the brother rises, if the brother wants to leave, that the brother leaves, but we won't change our manner to function. When the mind passes, one doesn't cut the inspiration with one pause. In spite of the big discomfort and frustrations undergone during the catéchèses, we went of it until the end, because we felt that they had something indeed to bring us. They made emerge in us a big hope. I understood quickly that it was not necessary to throw their authority into question.

	L'expérience of the neo-catéchuménat seemed beneficial to me for the development of the Christian life in a mature and serious manner. My religious formation was precarious and I trusted them them that seemed me to be able to guide me.

	Rita and me, went very regularly to the neo-catéchuménat during three years and half. Co-Responsible first and responsible then during the last fifteen months, we had the opportunity to attend all convivences for the persons responsible and the catéchètes and were thus in contact narrow and frequent pus with the Italian catéchètes. I felt a growing pressure exercised by the neo in my life.

	J'ai much beloved the preparations, the celebrations and more again the convivences that the catéchètes directed annually or semi annually. After some months of practice, the régime very loaded of the neo didn't appear too heavy to me. I considered like secondary the leisures to privilege the path of Kiko only. Therefore, more of course, less reading, a lot less meetings with the friends and the parents etc... Gradually, developed himself in me the more and more big hope of one life completely transformed, more happy, fuller. I hoped for the day where all over the world, Christ would be returned visible by the existence of communities of Christian mature by 1a long fermentation of God's Speech in them, of the liturgies and 1a life in community.

	À leave here and there some inconveniences in my projects or some small inconveniences, I didn't feel any seriousness problems in this path. But the problems that Rita lived made me think.

	A the continuation of a process that Rita described in its exposition, the catéchètes told us well that God's will, for us, catéchumènes, expresses itself only by them; that it is necessary to pay attention to the voice of our conscience because the Shrewd shows itself a lot of it, that the bishop cannot guide us in this path because he doesn't know us and doesn't know this path, that so same we are going to consult outside people in the path, they are going to give us reason but without knowing our case. We waste our time and we are mistaken if we want to consult our bishop.

	Donc, only our catéchètes can guide us in our spiritual life and nobody else. It is not necessary to trust us to the events of life either.

	Tout it is very well so much that we have the catéchètes that cannot be mistaken, very inspired and very illuminated. But the events that I lived and especially those that I saw to live around me, dissuaded me to believe in the catéchètes the closed eyes. How then me to let all my life between their hands if what they decided for others, and Rita among others, didn't convince me of their clairvoyance and their discernment.

	Autant to take the responsibility of my own mistakes myself. So much that I am not mad, I don't run a too big danger. It is myself that feels I know all stages lived up to here in my life. It is I, before all other, that feels the interior calls. I often saw the catéchètes taking some decisions at a time for several people; they sent a certain number of people to catechize without taking into account the case of each. I have the impression that the neo is a mold and that all those that there enters must pass by the same path. Each enters there to the point zero. One makes each pass the same stages at the same time and one lets God be in charge of the rest. The catéchètes often told us that it is impossible to like. Efforts in this sense will be vowed to the failure. Only God can make we capable to like. We took them to the word, Rita and me, until the day where we perceived that we were colder one towards the other, that we disregarded the small attentions and the efforts to make our reports more harmonious and more cordial, that we had some relations without obvious love. We had misunderstood maybe their teaching. The catéchètes spoke to us the love without nuance. Without Christ, not of possible love. We were capable not to like thanks to Christ or us in were not at all capable as if degree didn't exist in the love.

	Il have none there Christian in this room, I have said myself, following my catéchètes, ignoring that all helpers were baptized. I didn't say there are not any Christian adults in this room, but I affirmed very strongly: there are not Christian here.

	Jésus Christ came to free the men of the sin and the death. But in the neo, to the long, we underwent a conditioning as us lost little by little of them our free will. We became automatons. I often listened to the sharings in the community during the last months with the real feeling that the sharing of the brothers was often the faithful reflection of that that the catéchètes taught us and of the mind that they transmitted us. To think well, it is necessary to think as the catéchètes. An aspect marked in this path is to insist on the fact that the man is a sinner and is not able to anything without God. The man he/it is not God's creature that he/it destines to the eternal life. I heard some brothers to qualify itself/themselves of carrion and rot during the sharings and I ask the questions. What beautiful idea do we have of l'. uvre of God? He/it becomes easy for someone that not depreciates to this to put back his/her/its will and his/her/its person between the hands of the catéchètes. In this path, that appears to say before all with conviction very well: . The door is open so that someone else comes to direct my life.

I felt that one made walk a lot people with guilt, and maybe unconsciously. If I don't make it, I will be unhappy. If I don't make this I oppose God's will. If you refuse to catechize, before a long time, you are going all to refuse in this chemin,	en to take, to abandon the religious practice, to refuse the church and you will be very unhappy.

	La prophecy achieved itself for what is to leave of the path, but for the rest, it is not close to achieve itself/themselves because I think to have more than ever the worry of the fidelity to the church and to his/her/its teaching. Since we are out of this path, we breathe full our lungs and is not of quite the poor wretch.

	Durant the first weeks after having left this path, we became aware of the impact of the conditioning that we underwent. We were afraid to miss our life... One had told it to us so. We were conscious that it was necessary for us to take a good receding to see clear in our life. Now, after ten months, we can announce the the things, and we can appreciate what the church offers us next to this path.

									Jean Yves Lambert